Is your husband preventing you from seeing the people that you care? On your first few weeks of marriage, you would most likely think that your husband’s jealousy problems are natural and you keep pursuing your relationship thinking that both of you will learn to love and accept your current situation. However, as time passes by you will realize that your fairy tale will turn into nightmare.

If you allow yourself being controlled by your partner, you will have a low self-esteem.  At first, you react on his insults and assaults.  However, every time you do so, your husband turns into a monster and the relationship problems worsen.

In most cases, you become afraid to tell your friends and family about your situation. The truth is that they are the only ones that you can rely to and you try to push the important people in your life. The people closest to you should never be pushed away. Now you will be spending your life with a partner who has become a different person.

This situation is normal to a married couple.It is inevitable to have personality differences between married couple. It is a crazy idea to trap women in the house and limit them to child-bearing and household chores. Most women usually think that is their main duty to please their man and forget their own happiness. What happens is when they found out that there is nothing they could do to please their man, problems arise and it could go worse in time.

The most logical thing to do is to be assertive, this way you will feel more free and happy. Do not spoil your husband or get him used to your submissiveness. Pleasing your husband only makes him feel more powerful.  You are allowing him to have power over you.  Your relationship problems would not end unless you have courage to say you had enough.You will never change a man unless he decides for himself… if you wait for this to happen, you are just rsking yourself to emotional abuse.

You can stand up for your rights if you are assertive. Some people are not assertive. A person who is assertive attitude recognizes that he has a right to express his opinions, preferences, feelings and emotions. They usually face their problems and focus on problem- solving.

You must learn how to improve your assertive listening skills. You must know how to listen to your parner’s point-of-view, understand accurately what your partner is saying. Make sure that you understood what you heard. Understanding what your partner says does not mean you totally agree. It becomes an agreement if you agree on something and not just an understanding.It is really easy if you tell your partner what you want to hear and accept.

Assertiveness comes out if you try to separate your emotions to the reality. Do not allow your partner to take advantage of your love for him. You got to be courageous to fight for your will so you can be yourself and live your life as you want it. If your partner loves you truthfully he will just either reject or accept you.

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts

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